An Ode to Self Care
Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash
Practicing self care
Goodbye, guilt! Hello, healing!
Then care for others.
You have probably heard the old adage that you can’t take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself. Even the flight attendants tell you to take care of yourself first, “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.”
Why do we feel so guilty? Why do we continue to run ourselves ragged working at our jobs and making sure others have what they need? Perhaps it’s because we are told, from when we are young, to not be selfish. We need to share. We must think of others and their feelings and their needs. What about our own needs? What would Maslow say?
Do we then give up ourselves in order to only do good for others in an attempt to be completely selfless?
So are we being selfish by taking care of ourselves? According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of selfish is “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Unless we are doing things without any regard for others, our attempts to take care of ourselves, by definition, are not selfish. On the flip side, to be selfless is defined as “having no concern for self.” Do we then give up ourselves in order to only do good for others in an attempt to be completely selfless?
In our line of work, neither selfishness nor selflessness is sustainable or conducive to building/nurturing/healing/connecting/caring for community. Self care is that space between where we are gentle and forgiving with ourselves. Self care is where healing and rejuvenation exist and thrive. Self care is giving ourselves permission to take off all of our hats and take a breath. Self care looks different for each of us and that’s ok.
Self care is intentional and on-going and is something that makes you feel better.
I don’t do self care well. Generally, I work a lot, get little sleep, and snack too much until I finally reach a breaking point and I veg out for a couple of days. I feel guilty for doing anything for fun and I compare myself to others. Does that sound familiar at all? Well, apparently, from what I hear, that’s not how self care is supposed to work. Self care is intentional and on-going and is something that makes you feel better. Whether it’s exercising, going to the spa, seeing a therapist, making time for hobbies, or getting together with the people you love, any attempt to care for your heart, mind and body is a good step forward.
What can you do today? First of all, remember that no one is perfect and self care is something we must keep working at. Also, we are inclined to compare ourselves to others, so be kind to yourself and try not to pass judgement. Don’t forget; it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself and maybe try asking a loved one to be your accountability partner. Above all else, make the decision to embark on this journey and get started.
Taking a first step
Success, failure intertwined
The self made better.
Post by: Cheri Kishimoto, Executive Director & Co-Founder, HIHO cheri@hiho.org // Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash